


in my feelings

by polin



Category: Lana Del Rey (Musician), Marina & the Diamonds
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-17 02:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11841933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polin/pseuds/polin
Summary: sixteen year-old elizabeth grant realizes she's deeply in love with her brother's girlfriend, marina diamandis.





	1. chapter one

"lizzy! wake up or you're going to be late for school!" my mom shouted.

i'm elizabeth but my friends call me lizzy - i find it more welcoming. 

i got up and immediately went to the bathroom, then i washed my face with cold water to look less grumpy.  
i went downstairs and said hi to my parents who were cooking breakfast. my sister chuck was still in her room, probably getting ready. my brother charlie was on the couch with his girlfriend marina; they were cuddling while watching tv.

i coughed to get their attention.  
"good morning charlie. hey.. marina," i said.  
"hey !", they both responded in unison.

ive always thought marina was very beautiful. her curly hair made her look glamorous, her brown bambi eyes were so cute, yet so sexy. the way she was making me feel was weird. was i starting to have feelings for her?

i had breakfast with my parents, and kept staring at charlie and marina. they looked so happy together, i felt like i was going to ruin everything if i told her how i felt. i wasn't even sure about my sexuality. ive never fallen for a girl before, and even less for a girl that is actually my brother's girlfriend.

i was drowning in my thoughts when my dad gently tapped my shoulder: "lizzy, honey, you really need to hurry up. it's 7:55 am and you have class at 8:15 am. it's your first day of school, you can't be late! i'll give you a ride if you're ready in 5" he said.

i nodded and quickly went upstairs to get dressed. i put on high waisted blue mom jeans and a white shirt that let my collarbones clearly appear. i decided to wear my fave sneakers that were old skool vans; basic but efficient, right?

i took my tote bag with my school stuff in it and got in my dad's white mustang.

it was 8:10 am when i arrived at school. i was kind of excited to freshly start a new grade; maybe i'd meet new people.  
my schedule said that i started with math class. i truly hated math.. until i came in front of the class. my eyes widened when i saw marina. was she in the same class as me? 

she turned around and looked at me intensely. i gave her a shy smile and she walked towards me, smiling back.

"so i guess we're in the same class, huh? how cool!" she softly said.  
"yeah" i answered. "this year is gonna be fun"  
"want to sit together?"  
i nodded. we walked in the class as the teacher told us to. she was introducing herself while we were looking for our seats.

"well, good morning, fellow students. i'm ms. parker and i teach math. i know most of you don't like it but i'll make you!" she chuckled.

i couldn't really concentrate during this class because i felt marina stare at me the entire hour. when i looked at her to see if i was right, she quickly looked away, her cheeks blushing.

damn, i thought. this year was definitely going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first fic so be nice :) also english isn't my first language so if there's any grammar mistake just tell me ! i hope u enjoy girlies


	2. chapter two

it was 3 pm and school was finally over. it was kind of boring, because marina and i didn't really talk: we just secretly stared at each other. when i got out of the school, marina was already in the parking lot, she smiled in my direction. 

"hey lizzy, i'm actually going to your place to hang out with your brother. let's go home together?"  
"sure," i said. as long as i'm with you.

we quickly got in her car and marina put on some music, charli xcx's "bounce". it was such a bop! we both started dancing like crazy as the beat dropped. marina was laughing the whole time; it was the cutest thing ever.

as we came back home, charlie was already there and kissed marina. she immediately backed off, not kissing back.

"charlie, not now,"   
"woah marina, seriously?"   
"i'm tired okay?" she dryly replied.

charlie seemed mad after this. he went back to his room, leaving marina and i alone. 

"umm, i know i was supposed to hang with charlie but now that we kinda fought.. can we stay together?" marina shyly asked.  
"i mean.. sure! what do you want to do? i could make us pancakes. mine are the best. you'll be impressed," i said.  
"i can't wait to see that," she winked at me. shit. i was blushing.

i didn't say anything after that. marina was really confusing me. did she act like that with every person she met?

i went to the kitchen to make pancakes while marina lay on the couch, playing on her phone.

"marina! shit's ready, get up," i shouted.  
"i'm coming, i'm coming babe," 

babe? god, here i am, blushing again. i hope she didn't notice. 

"okay let's see how they taste," marina took a bite and chuckled.  
"what's so funny?"   
"girl... those are the best pancakes i've ever had. you got some talent!"  
"told ya!"

after we finished eating, we watched some comedy show on netflix. i felt her stare on me, just like she did in class earlier. i was way too shy to look at her back, i knew it would've been awkward if i did.

*

"fuck, it's already 7 pm! i'm sorry but i need to go lizzy. i was supposed to be home at like 5," marina quickly got up and took her bag. "i'll see you tomorrow?" she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

i felt my cheeks burn once more. i swear to god, she was the death of me.

"i- yes.. see you tomorrow marina," i smiled and closed the door.  
i later realized that she didn't even say goodbye to charlie.

*

after a while, i was still chilling on the couch when i heard charlie come downstairs. he asked me where marina was, i told him that she was gone. he looked pretty angry.

"what? she didn't say goodbye," he mumbled as he was already leaving the living room.

she didn't say goodbye to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo there it is,, tell me what u guys think (:


	3. Chapter 3

i was so glad that it was friday. it meant that i could finally get some rest after such a tiring week. 

i was walking to school when i saw marina on the other sidewalk. she was wearing skinny jeans and an oversized adidas sweatshirt. i thought that we were matching because i was wearing adidas track pants. maybe that was meant to happen.

"marina!" i screamed. she turned around and waved at me, coming in my direction.

"hey, liz. you're not late for once, huh?" she smiled.  
"i'm trying my fucking best!" i rolled my eyes.

we had physical education in first period. god, i just showered this morning and i was going to sweat like crazy and also look like shit.

when i entered the locker room, marina was already in her sports bra. my jaw dropped (for real). her breasts looked so perfect; let's not even talk about her abs. i kind of wished i had that body. 

"you alright liz?" she smirked, making eye contact.  
"uh yeah, i was just thinking that i fucking hate p.e.," i tried to justify myself as much as i could. (i probably failed since she gave me such a flirty look.)

i was taking my pants off when marina whispered in my ear.  
"damn, elizabeth grant, i didn't know you looked like a fucking goddess."

what was i supposed to say? i was frozen, yet my cheeks were so warm.

"right back at you," i eventually said. she gave me a kiss on the cheek (but this time, it was closer to my mouth.)

oh god, why would i even say that? marina was my brother's girlfriend, and even though they have been in an argument for a few days now, i couldn't act like that around her. she really had something special, but i couldn't figure out what. i wasn't surprised that my brother liked her.

after p.e., i quickly changed and started heading to french class. some people were already there. i realized that they all seemed cool, but that i hadn't talked to them at all since the beginning of the week because i was perhaps too focused on marina. 

"hey," i smiled at them.  
"hi lizzy," one of them said. i believe her name was kali. "i'm throwing a party at my place tonight, would you like to come?"   
"sure, i'll give you my number so you can text me your address, yeah?" i answered. i actually wanted to rest tonight but i could make new friends there.  
"cool, see you tonight lady," she winked, entering the classroom with her crew.

i turned around and saw marina, running not to be late.   
"who's the late one now?" i laughed.  
"fuck off, grant," she whispered. she sounded hot even when she cussed.   
"there's a party tonight at kali's, you coming?"   
"perhaps," she said. "i wasn't sure but since you're going, i'm definitely going."

when i got home after school, i decided to make coffee since i was tired. tonight was going to be fun, i knew it. i just needed to wait and see. i just took a sip of my freshly made coffee when i heard the door open. it was charlie; he seemed sad.

"hey, lizzy," he sighed.  
"what's going on charlie? you look sad," i softly responded.  
"marina broke up with me," he eventually said. i immediately hugged him tight. "i don't know why, i don't think i did anything wrong, i loved her. i was in love with her, liz, you don't even know. we've been fighting a lot but i thought it could work out between us," he teared up.   
"i'm sorry charlie, i'm so sorry. you know i'm always here for you, right? but right now i need to get ready. i'll see you later, ok? i love you." he nodded and went upstairs.

i needed to know why marina broke up with my brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what u think ladies


	4. chapter four

i was getting ready when i received a text from kali. it was her address; she also asked me to come over earlier if i could. i texted back saying i would try to but i knew i would be late because i wasn't even dressed up yet, not knowing what to wear. i ended up wearing a striped top with a high waisted denim skirt that showed off my long legs.

my phone rang while i was doing my make up: it was marina. 

"hello?  
\- hey liz, want me to pick you up in ten minutes?  
\- sure, i actually needed a ride.  
\- i'll see you then." she hung up.

she didn't talk about her break up with charlie at all.

i got out of my house after twenty minutes; marina was already there.

"god, will you ever stop being late?" she giggled.   
"that's how i am, deal with it," i smiled.  
"you look stunning, elizabeth," she suddenly said. 

i wasn't expecting this. i gave her a quick hug, trying to hide my cheeks that just turned red.

"thanks, marina. i have to say, you don't look that bad either. you want to get a new guy already?"

she seemed surprised that i knew about her and charlie but she didn't say anything.

"who said i want a guy?" she said after a while.

*

when we arrived at kali's place, pretty much everyone was already there. and they were all drunk. 

"i'll go get us drinks, i'll be back," marina shouted since the music and the people were so loud.

i said hi to a bunch of people from my school, they seemed pretty excited to see me. kali was already wasted.

"heeyy lizzy.. i- i'm glad you came.. so you can finally get drunk with the girl that likes y-" marina interrupted kali and grabbed my arm. she led me to a couch and gave me a drink.

"what was it about marina? do you think there's a girl here who likes me?" i asked her, finishing my drink in approximately three seconds. god, my throat was burning.  
"i don't know liz. what do you think about girls liking girls?"  
"i.." i could already feel the alcohol in my blood. "i like the idea. even though i've never.. had any relationships with them. but why would you break up with my brother, marina? do you like someone else?"  
"trust me, elizabeth. if i liked anyone, you'd be the first one to know," she whispered, sliding her hand on my thigh, making me shiver.

she smiled. marina diamandis had the prettiest smile i've ever seen. it made me feel so weak. even weaker when her dimples appeared. 

i stroked her cheek with my hand. 

"i've never been so drunk," i said.  
"me neither. should we go outside?"  
"yeah, i need to smoke so bad."

we lay on the grass; i took a cigarette out of my bag and lit it up. it helped me relax a lot. i asked marina if she wanted to take a puff and she nodded. i brought the cig closer to her mouth as i got lost staring at her lips. 

"marina," i couldn't take my eyes off her lips.  
"perhaps you should look me the eye if you want to say something to me," she smiled. again.  
"um, of course," i said. "it's hard for me to concentrate when i'm drunk."  
"it's hard for me to concentrate when you're around, elizabeth," she replied. 

i didn't even realize she was leaning closer to me.

i was wondering what she meant as i felt something soft on my lips. marina diamandis was kissing me, and the worst part was that i wasn't even backing off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there it isss tell me what u think thx


	5. chapter five

i woke up the next morning in a bed, probably still at kali's place. i had the worst headache ever; i guess drinking wasn't my thing.

i really couldn't remember much about last night... i turned my head and saw marina sleeping next to me.

what happened last night? i had to ask marina about it but didn't want to wake her up. she looked so soft and beautiful.

i was still looking at her when she woke up; it was around 11 am.   
"oh.. how long have you been awake?" she asked.  
"i don't know, less than an hour perhaps. where are we?"  
"you don't remember?" she seemed surprised. "we're in my bedroom, liz."

so we weren't at kali's place.

"i need you to tell me everything that happened last night, marina, i think i was too drunk," i said.

she looked so confused. i felt bad for not remembering anything.

"uh, we were outside to have a smoke and basically i.. are you sure you can't remember?"

i felt like she was hiding something from me. i had to know.

"i really can't, marina. just tell me how i ended up here."  
"we kissed, liz. but then you started feeling dizzy so i took you at my place, which wasn't far."  
"wh- what?"  
"elizabeth," she said. "i can explain."  
"can we just.. talk about it later?"

she nodded and got out of bed; she was only wearing panties and an oversized shirt. i couldn't look at her without thinking about how it could've happened. 

i was still lying in bed when i had a flashback of last night. i was so drunk, really. it was almost embarrassing.   
i think i was smoking a cig and marina was stroking my cheek with her thumb.

at this moment, i remembered everything about last night. i knew i liked her that way; i just couldn't do this to my brother. marina probably broke up with him so she could be with me. i wanted to be with her too, but it would make everything so much more complicated.

*

marina came back from the shower, wet hair and underwear. she caught me staring at her and giggled.

"why are you looking at me like this?"   
"i just can't believe how sexy you are," i whispered. did i really just say that?

her cheeks instantly became red. she leaned closer to the bed and i grabbed her shoulders, pushing her on the bed. i got on top of her; she was breathing heavily.

we intensely stared at each other for at least thirty seconds. but i couldn't handle it anymore.   
i grabbed the back of her neck and passionately pressed my lips against hers. she didn't kiss back at first, probably surprised that i made the first move. when she finally did, i felt relieved. 

after several minutes, i pulled back and left a little mark on her neck. she smiled. damn marina, back at it again with the beautiful smile.

"wow, liz. you taste like cherry, i like it," she said.

 

i smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s been a while huh


End file.
